quite difficult at the moment but probably because anniversary nearly here i try to keep busy and see ruaraidh at weekend .as he is kept busy with work ect waiting for baby to arrive .but makes me think you should be here to be part of it all .as he lost both his dad and brother within three years of each other so been hard for him as well. but i do my best for them both as poppy was brought up in care .but we both worked in system so know not easy .but they are over moon about baby .makes me miss you more .but untill been in my position people dont understand as it never leaves you just leaves big hole in your life and i miss you more each day love you mamxx